The End Of My Career

As a Stage Trapezist… Not as a Passionate for People.

I’m in the band’s van, heading to Prague, after what has been quite a tumultuous type of all-nighter. I haven’t been able to sleep because I endured a severe ankle sprain during the rendition of Summertime Departures when I jumped from the PA stack to reach the crowd out at the Ino-Rock Festival… Passion, passion, passion!!!

It kind of took me by surprise long after the concert… If I felt a little discomfort at landing, I managed not only to keep going intensely for an additional 45 minutes of beautiful mayhem on stage, but I also remained on my feet for almost 3 hours afterward, talking with people at the merch booth. It’s on my way backstage that I started feeling some pain, until it became crazily unbearable. My foot was so big and swollen, I almost had to scissor it out of my shoe. And once free, I realized that my foot was a magnificent mix of dark blue, violet, scarlet, dark yellow, and a mix of other scary colors… Which is usually not good news!

Passion, passion, passion!!!

Beyond that, the concert had been a magnificent communal uplift, one that was incredibly fulfilling. We all experienced an elevating measure of heart connection through the music’s spirit. The ascending motion was undeniable, and I felt like we were touching new emotional heights, personally and collectively. Maybe it’s the reason I wanted to fly! Our relational intimacy with Oli is clearly defining and redefining the songs as we dwell on the music’s soul together.

If the concert was profoundly meaningful for every one of us, my time at the merch booth was superbly poignant for me. It’s so precious for me… the laughter, the hugs, the pictures, the stories… I don’t have the words to express how significant a moment it’s been. This is actually the reason why I’m doing music: human connection. So when someone tells me, “Wow, Alex, you’ve been at the merch booth for 3 hours after the show, it’s crazy,” my reaction is always along the lines of “it’s the ultimate blessing, and depriving myself of such privilege would be maddening… So bring me more of that craziness!!!”

I left the festival site without having much opportunity to exchange with any of the other amazing musicians, the product of having restrained mobility, but I could talk with pretty much all of them in the course of the day, which is also very touching for me… To know their voyages, their values, and their motivations is such an honor. I don’t know the prog scene that much, but I’m immensely grateful to have been welcomed with so much passionate affection by its community. It’s singular for me.

So what now? Well, the show must go on. I never cancelled a concert in my entire creative journey. The guys were laughing earlier today describing all the live injuries I had over the years: a fractured jaw (from getting hit in the face by Ben’s bass), fractured ribs (jumping from a second floor balcony and being welcomed by someone holding a bottle of beer), a fractured knee (got accidentally hit by someone in a mosh pit), chipped teeth (got accidentally punched in the face while body surfing over the crowd), strained back (from mosh pits), several fingers fractured (too many times to recall), several black eyes (from getting hit by Sef’s guitar — on 3 different occasions), bitten in the face (it was passionate yet “gentle”) by a girl who also grabbed my private parts in a vampire-emo party we were headlining in Berlin, severe food poisoning in China right before a show (I don’t recommend some vegan sandwiches in places where there are no pigeons… yep!), oh, and a fractured nose (thank you Sef… again!!!). And probably some more I don’t remember…

An ankle is a first, though, and I find it a much more cumbersome incident to deal with. Being able to stand up and walk is not overrated, it’s actually very, very convenient! Especially when, like me, you LOVE to walk around, and even more so when I’m on tour. Discovering the city and seeing its people resolutely helps me outline the nature of the invisible I’m looking for before a concert… But no walking around in Prague for me today, even if I was looking forward to it. Every opportunity I have to play a city for the first time is special for me, so I guess I will always remember the very first time I ever had to play while sitting on a bar stool lol… It’s all about the spirit of the moment, right?

So I suppose it will mark the end of my trapezist career, for a little while at least! I have already been restricted from body surfing by my loving and caring managers… What can I do?! I’m driven by people’s passion. It’s not my fault, you know… Well, I mean… It’s an instinctive impulse of love! I just can’t change that nor control its blazing spur!

Never wondered before if one could create some amp feedback out of crutches… I’m about to find out!!!

Life creates life!

Your brother and friend,

Alex